


like kerosene on a flame of doubt

by Mia_Zeklos



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Explicit rating for later chapters, F/M, Family Issues, Father-Son Relationship, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Sensitivity, Getting to Know Each Other, Gray Jedi, Mentor/Protégé, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other characters to be added as they appear, Smuggler Ben Solo, to a degree and only later on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-25 07:22:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14972018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mia_Zeklos/pseuds/Mia_Zeklos
Summary: When a ship crashes near Rey’s home, she takes its crew in, unaware of all the changes that this decision could bring.(Or, the story of how Rey takes matters into her own hands - regardless of what the future’s got in store for her).





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This story happened when I started thinking of a canon divergent AU in which Ben managed to resist Snoke's manipulation, eventually left Luke's temple and decided to follow in his father's footsteps. The rest of the details and character stories sort of followed after that. Hopefully the end result is enjoyable. Feedback is always welcome!

When the ship had first crashed – or landed rather roughly, enough to wake her up from where she’d been dozing off over her dinner – Rey hadn’t even bothered to go check out the wreckage that remained. Any occupants it might have had had probably evacuated earlier and ended up too far away from here for her to see and she could try to pry something out of the leftovers tomorrow morning. It was getting dark already; at this time of the year, the sun set altogether too quickly and she wouldn’t do herself any favours if she wandered off now.

It was exactly as she was preparing to go back to sleep that Rey heard the voices. An age-old, well-worn part of her sparked up with hope, but— _no_. The same nameless, strange sense inside her that always tipped her off about people crushed the idea before it had managed to fully take shape. _It’s not them._

She tried to make out the details of what she was seeing in what little light was still left from the day. It was just two men, their voices too loud and foreign-sounding to have anything at all to do with her. The reluctant realisation was confirmed as soon as they got close enough for Rey to be able to make out words.

“—could have sent a distress signal early on if that’s what you wanted is all I’m saying.”

“And tell them _what_?” They’d ended up on top of the nearest dune. Rey didn’t need to hear anything more to know how the rest of her evening would go – or at least, what they would attempt to do.

“I don’t know! This was your idea!”

“Look.” The one on the front stopped, turning around to face his companion. “I’m _sorry_. We can find the parts we need tomorrow. I think I saw a trading post nearby before we crashed.”

“What are we trading in? We have nothing left.” A moment passed. “That’s not gonna work here, Ben.”

“It will.” The silhouettes grew clearer as the men came even closer and it was easy to see all the tell-tale signs of where they’d come from now. It was all there, in their grease-stained fingers and dirty, messy clothes. _Mechanics_. Whatever was left of their ship, they were apparently determined to fix it. It hadn’t _sounded_ fixable, but it made sense for them to want to leave – no one liked to stay here longer than strictly necessary. “I read about the locals when we realised we’d have to land. They’re primitive.”

“It won’t work _exactly_ because they’re primitive.” She was definitely in their field of vision now; something that could’ve easily been avoided if she hadn’t been so curious. It wasn’t easy to see that someone actually _lived_ here. “Listen, I’ve seen this before and— Hey! Wait!”

Rey groaned, but stilled on her way back into the AT-AT. It was no use now, they’d spotted her, and plus, it wasn’t like she had it in her to turn them away. It was late, the temperatures were starting to drop rapidly and, since they had no way of knowing that, they’d probably freeze to death out there. “Yes?”

“We were looking for Niima Outpost,” the one who had called out after her said and Rey suppressed a sigh. They’d never make it to the town in time to spend the night there and they were likely aware of that fact, but they wouldn’t ask for shelter directly. It was typical for off-worlders – she could see the pattern even if they had no idea that there was one in the first place.

“You’re going in the wrong direction,” she informed them as she moved away from the entrance. They didn’t look too dangerous despite the mildly alarming conversation they’d had until now and if she was lucky, they’d want to pay her back somehow. There was a ritual to this too – few people were ungrateful enough to just leave and humans in particular, she had noticed, rarely were among them.

“We have food.” The younger one, who hadn’t spoken to her directly so far, pulled out of his pocket something that could have been a sandwich in a better time. Rey almost took a step back at the sight of it and vaguely wondered if she’d ever be desperate enough to accept absolutely _any_ payment for the shelter she was offering. “If you want—”

“You don’t need to,” she hurried to say and motioned them both towards the interior of her makeshift home. “You can stay the night.”

“That would be great.” Another familiar sight – the relief mixed with the apprehension that usually came from the sight of both her home and Jakku as a whole. “Thank you—”

“Rey,” she supplied and motioned them both inside. It would be a tight fit, no question about it, but she could make it work.

“Thank you, Rey. I’m Han and this is Ben.”

The lack of last names wasn’t the slightest bit encouraging, but Rey wasn’t really in the right position to point that out. She nodded.

“Get in. It’ll be start getting colder soon.”

~.~.~.~

Rey had never spent much thought on the size of her home – it had always been just her in here, ever since she’d first found it – and she had never realised just how much space two fully grown men could take. The place was almost _crowded_ now and she only stayed awake long enough to make sure the door was secured again before she retreated to the corner again and left them alone with the sandwich they’d apparently decided to split between themselves at some point. It didn’t really help any, but with her back to them, it was easy to pretend that nothing had changed while also knowing that she’d done the right thing.

Going back to sleep, however, was going to be a challenge.

It wasn’t that they were being problematic in any way. If anything, their hushed conversation was an almost soothing background and it would have been ideal if not for the anxiety still lurking at the corners of her mind. They had both been very quiet since they’d come in and while Rey didn’t think they were planning on attacking her (first, she knew how that looked, and second, she didn’t really have anything worth stealing), it was strange, even for Jakku. Without really planning on it, she strained herself to tune in on what they were saying.

“—But she has to know about it first. We’re not stealing anything from one of my oldest friends.”

“That a new rule? I don’t remember it being a problem when—”

“Ben.”

“ _Father_.”

“I mean it this time.”

An indignant huff followed.

“Fine. I’ll ask. But I don’t see why she’d want to keep it to herself.”

“It doesn’t matter; if it stays, it stays. I don’t see why _you_ would need it either, to be honest, so it shouldn’t be much of a problem.”

“It’s no good. The crystal’s cracked. Luke would have a stroke if he ever saw it.”

“I think he nearly has one every time I tell him about the books you keep prying out of libraries to teach yourself things he could’ve told you. Luke’ll be fine.” More silence. “But that’s not what worries you.”

“No.”

“How would the new one be different?”

They’d stopped making much sense. It was either because Rey was falling asleep or due to their communication happening mostly with the same undefined looks they’d kept exchanging over their makeshift dinner. She wasn’t sure, but it didn’t really matter – somehow, her guests seemed even less intimidating than before.

“It just is.”

Another sigh, soon followed by the sounds of them trying to make themselves comfortable on the hard floor. It was no easy feat, Rey knew, and smiled into her blanket.

“I _will_ find out, you know.”

“Yeah.” The younger one – Ben – sounded strangely detached now, without a trace of his lighter tone from just moments prior. “I know.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first actual chapter is here! From here on, the plan is to update bi-weekly, on Monday evenings. Hope you enjoy it and feedback is always welcome!

By the time Rey woke up, the sun was already high in the sky and her guests from last night had gone outside to talk, clearly in an effort not to wake her up. She appreciated the thoughtfulness given that the next best thing – finding the way to civilisation on their own – hadn’t been an option, but still wished she hadn’t spent quite as much time on them last night. It had completely wrecked her schedule for the day.

The thing with Jakku, Rey had realised almost as soon as she’d been old enough to get around on her own, was that you couldn’t stay outside thorough the entire day and expect to be productive at the end of it. It was best to get up before sunrise, do what she could before it got too hot and then retreat to make her findings as presentable as possible for the moment when she’d try to sell them. It was a timetable she stuck by almost pedantically and the mild irritation caused by being pulled away from it only increased when she nearly stumbled over the elaborate map carved out in the sand right in front of the entrance.

Rey stopped and stared, thrown off by the sight for a moment. Overnight, the two men had made themselves fully at home. Their lightly faded clothes, proof of how much time they'd spent in the sun not only yesterday, but rather on a regular basis, were the colour of the dunes that surrounded them from every direction and their slightly tortured expressions - more of a product of Jakku's specific flavour of barely habitable climate, Rey guessed - and dishevelled appearances matched those of anyone who'd spent less than a year or so here. They hadn't complained, though, whether because they were used to challenges or because they'd felt it would be rude, and had tried to get as comfortable as possible instead; enough to start using the environment to their advantage. Which brought Rey back to the map.

It was a rough representation of Niima Outpost; the way she supposed it would look if it was seen from the sky. There were bits and pieces of some sort of machine thrown all over it and they must have meant something – they were both staring attentively at it, even if the conversation had abruptly ended when she’d showed up, making way for the uncomfortable silence that reigned over them now.

“Sorry.” Ben looked up from his work, his expression leaning more towards indifferent than apologetic. He looked slightly less intimidating now than he had last night, but the look in his eyes was the same – inquisitive and vaguely challenging, like it was every time Rey started to wonder whether any of this had actually been a good idea. It was ridiculous to even imagine that he could actually _tell_ – she was rather good at keeping her expression unchanged regardless of the circumstances and had yet to break that habit in front of anyone. “I didn’t think you were awake.”

“It’s fine.” It wasn’t the oddest excuse she’d heard for being inconvenient, but it was a close thing. _Did you expect me not to be?_ “You still want to get to the town, right?”

“Sure.” Han nodded towards the side of the AT-AT, where she kept everything that couldn’t fit in her room. It wasn’t much and Rey could already tell where that particular thought process was headed. “We could use your speeder to get the parts back to our ship and then we’ll be out of your hair.”

“You’ve got it.” It would be even quicker that way, really – she could still show them the way, but they’d be the only ones who’d have to walk. There was no way Rey was handing her most precious possession to the people who had crashed a ship just last night. Even if they could help her fix it later— it was too much of a risk to take with something she’d spent so long building. “We might have to make a few trips if you need a lot of things, though. There’s a weight limit to it.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Ben said as he got to his feet and made a half-hearted attempt to get the sand off of his clothes. “We can manage it all at once.”

“What kind of ship is it?”

Another one of those seconds-long silent conversations before he spoke up again. It was starting to be a bit much, really, because what was there to hide? Unless they’d been taken down from the sky, there was nothing particularly recognisable about a shipwreck in the middle of the desert. It happened often enough for her to be able to make a living out of it, after all. “A Corellian freighter.”

“I’ve worked on one of those before,” she said, unable to keep the hopeful edge out of her voice. Even if they looked shifty, they also had the air of people who knew what they were doing and people like that, in Rey’s experience, were much more likely to pay her fairly for the work she’d done instead of throwing scraps in her general direction. It would be a refreshing change. “If you need another pair of hands—”

“We can handle it on our own.” Han was apologetic but firm. It had been a rejection out of necessity, it appeared, and it didn’t serve to make Rey any less suspicious. The twinge of disappointment didn’t last too long – it was for the best, it really was – but it wasn’t something she could fully ignore either. “It’s not like it hasn’t happened before. Ready to go when you are.”

This was going to backfire spectacularly, Rey was almost sure of it. Here, in broad daylight, it was easy to tell by everything in the off-worlders – their sunburnt faces, the ragged clothes, even the resigned attitude – that they had a long track record of similar experiences. Still, she’d promised, and what was the worst that could happen, really? She didn’t have friends in the town, but the locals were far more suspicious of outsiders than they were of her; if something went wrong, she wouldn’t be the one they’d blame.

“Let’s go,” she said at last and it didn’t matter how much she tried to convince herself that it would be fine; the feeling that had plagued her all morning hadn’t diminished at all. _Something_ was about to change and Rey was already standing on edge, determined to face it when it did.

~.~.~.~

 It really was a long time until they reached the first signs of civilisation and it felt even longer to people who weren't familiar with it. It was another thing that Rey knew from experience and it made her feel just a little better about the fact that she'd agreed to go through all this trouble for a pair of strangers. They definitely wouldn't have made it otherwise, she reasoned, and in the end, it might even be worth it. Maybe she could even let it be known that she'd brought new clients to the trading post; such things were usually appreciated.

Something that didn't help all that much was the memory of the bits and piece of conversations she'd overheard last night. They really had nothing with them - they were even running out of food, and quickly - and didn't appear to have a clear idea of what they'd do once they actually got to Niima Outpost. The vague discussions of future journeys hadn't been too assuring either ( _'We're not stealing anything from my friends'_ was _not_ a good basis for a deciding whether something was right or wrong and if she hadn't been pretending to be asleep at the time, Rey might have told them as much), but they still inspired a strange sort of trust in her; something that hadn’t happened before. It was almost worrisome.

It was the confidence, most likely; the air of people who'd found themselves in an almost impossible situation and were still determined to get out as soon as possible tended to draw people in. If Rey had been one of the many poor souls _stranded_ on this planet, she would have probably agreed to anything just to be able to get out when they did, no matter what they were like.

Luckily for her, that wasn't the case. In one way or another, Jakku was her home and that made the inevitable unpleasant surprise slightly easier to bear when it happened, because she'd been wrong. They hadn't just decided to improvise the deal for the parts on their way there; they’d had a plan from the start.

Rey wasn’t sure what she’d expected. She had seen the makeshift map this morning, had seen them still talking on the long way to the town and had still missed the fact that whatever they were planning was some sort of trick. She had no right to feel cheated, but it would have still been _preferable_ to be informed of whatever their course of action was and by the time they got to the trading post, it was far too late to try and demand anything of the sort. It was clearly well thought-out - Ben headed straight for Unkar Plutt's stall while Han took a sharp turn for the back of the building where they'd asked her to leave the speeder - and it was just now starting to occur to her what the nature of this exchange would be.

“It's not going to work,” Rey informed him as she watched Ben offer a smile that could pass as friendly and then recoil at the undoubtedly sharp response he'd received. "Nothing gets past Unkar."

“We'll see about that.” Han had already got to work with the lock of the storage room's door and even if she didn't approve, Rey had to admit that he was quiet about it - so much so that it was obvious how often he'd done it before.

“What kind of Corellian freighter needs _that_?” Under almost any other circumstances, Rey wouldn’t have particularly cared, but now, as she plucked yet another small but overly expensive piece of metal that Han had added to the growing pile, she couldn’t help but think that they were wasting precious time.

“It’s not for me,” Han said, still absorbed by his task. “I have a— friend who’s been looking for something like this for a long time. You don’t need to worry about that thing over there,” a vague gesture towards the booth in the middle of the trading post, “finding out about it. We’ve thought this through.”

“Do you have a lot of _friends_ who like receiving rare artefacts out of the blue?” She hadn’t meant to snap – or to probe too much past the level of wilful ignorance that she’d already tried to establish between them – but she desperately needed something to occupy her mind with. Han shrugged.

“A few.”

Rey froze at the realisation of just how comfortable he was with this state of affairs. _Not mechanics, then_. The reluctance to take her to see their ship, the ease with which they’d gone from a discussion of an exchange towards outright robbery – she should have known. _Smugglers_.

Well, it could have been worse, if Rey was being honest. It _had_ been worse before. They hadn’t even lied to her about it, technically, and there was a far more serious threat in her near future to be anxious about right now.

“I mean it.” The words were more of a hiss than anything else. Rey didn't want to show how much the possibility of being caught scared her now that everything was so _real_ , but it was impossible not to. The distraction on the front of the stall wasn't going too well if Ben's carefully collected but strained expression was anything to go by and it wouldn't take long even for Unkar to realise that he was being played. The signs of barely suppressed anger were everywhere - from the man's stiff posture to the hand wrapped around something hanging from his belt that was definitely a weapon, even if she couldn't figure out what type exactly - and if there was one thing the junk boss knew how to exploit, it was nervousness. “You don't want to see him angry.”

“Listen.” Han turned away from the already open door to look at her instead. “If it scares you, if you think he'll hurt you, _go_. I'd say that Ben's got it covered, but you have no reason to trust me - or him, for that matter - so I won't keep you here.”

She had just gathered the nerve to tell him that yes, this was one of the few reasonable things either of them had said today when an unexpected hush fell over the small crowd. It was as if the world had slowed down all of a sudden and Rey felt herself tense at how heavy the air in their proximity had become; almost suffocating in its density.

“Something's wrong,” she got out nevertheless, stepping back once more so that she was closer to Han. Unlike everyone else, he was entirely unaffected as he started going through the pile of machinery in front of them.

“Is it? What?”

“I don't know.” With monumental effort, Rey turned to Ben again. He'd stopped speaking but hadn't moved from his position, all of his focus pinned on the small window as if he could keep Unkar in place by sheer force of will. “It's so _quiet_.”

“Suppose you'd know; you're the one from around here.” Han didn't sound too concerned. “I'm almost done here.”

“That'll be too much for the speeder.”

“Don't worry about that.”

She couldn't _not_ worry, not even when she had more pressing issues on her mind - not even when they were issues she couldn't find the source of. There was some kind of power, hard and unyielding and unknown and it didn’t make any _sense_. Rey pushed against it with all her might in a last, frantic attempt to free her mind from it.

“All done,” Han said a moment later, just as Ben’s attention shifted to her instead, his dark eyes furious and inquisitive all at the same time and just like that, it was over – the unbearable pressure ended as quickly as it had appeared and Rey could finally breathe again.

“What,” she said, voice stumbling over itself as she tried to put herself together, “what did he do?”

“Ben?” Han had followed her line of vision and laughed as he kept loading the speeder, the sound of it too cheerful compared to the deafening silence from seconds ago. “He can talk at people to death if you give him the chance.”

“It wasn't that.” _And he wasn't even talking_. Trying to explain what it had been like was futile considering that Han didn't show any signs of having experienced it at all, but thinking out loud was the only way Rey could think of that would help her put the pieces together. “It wasn't that, he just— There was something— _That won't fit on the speeder_.”

“Calm down.” Rey flinched at the voice that boomed from behind her back and the hand that patted her shoulder with no warning whatsoever, light and carefree. It wasn't that she was _scared_ , really, but the inexplicable display had left her on edge even without Ben materialising so close to her the moment she'd taken her eyes off of him. That, accompanied by the sudden sensory overload after the overwhelming sensation she’d just gone through, had resulted in a worrying amount of uncertainty about her surroundings just now. “We wouldn't overload it.” That attempt at a smile again, this time far more genuine. “I know what I'm doing.”

And with that, as if purposefully trying to make matters worse, he leant down to pick up the largest part of equipment that Han had singled out, heaved it from the ground in one swift move and headed off. No one made an attempt to stop him - everyone's focus was still carefully averted from the three of them, she noticed - and Han only waited a moment longer before he gestured at her to take off. Rey climbed on the speeder, but kept it slow enough to match a human's pace, unwilling to let her questions go.

Had the situation been any different, she wouldn't have cared. Many people ended up on Jakku, either by accident or because they were running from something, and the majority of them had secrets that didn't bear discussing. It was just what life was like. Rey had never insisted, but this was different – _personal_. She'd felt as if her mind had been invaded and it was too much of a violation for her to bear.

“He shouldn't be able to do that,” she started again, as nonchalant as she could force herself to be, nodding in Ben's direction. “That pulse generator weighs more than he does.”

The more she looked, the more convinced she was that he wasn’t even struggling with it. It looked as effortless as everything his father did and if Rey hadn’t seen them up close enough to be sure already, she would have started having doubts about whether they were actually human after all. Maybe it was just more of that insane assurance that nothing could ever go wrong. It was the kind of thing that could kill you on a planet like Jakku, but she still envied them for it.

“We've been in the business for a while, Rey,” Han waved her off and that, at least, appeared to be the truth. “He's used to it.”

“It's not a matter of _getting used to it_ ,” Rey muttered, but didn't press further - it was clearly not going to get her anywhere. She didn't get too long to contemplate it, either, as the people in the trading post slowly started coming back to themselves one by one and she narrowed her eyes against Ben's already disappearing figure. The heat in the air was making it all seem that bit more surreal, especially as Rey upped the speed so that she could get away from the town as soon as possible, and for a split second, it looked almost like everything he'd taken with himself was hanging suspended in the air.


End file.
